青少年離開教會的原因 Reasons why teenagers leave the church

根據Bernard Research Center十年前的研究結果：參加教會的青少年到了中學或大學，只有三分之一繼續留在教會，其餘三分之二會離開教會。有些在中學時就已離開，升上大學時離開的尤其多。

According to a study conducted by the Bernard Research Centre ten years ago: only one-third of teenagers who attend church will continue to stay in the church when they reach middle school or college, and the remaining two-thirds will leave the church. Some left when they were in middle school, and many left when they entered college.

十年過去了，情況並沒有改善，如今青少年不再返教會的情況更嚴重，教會實在要認真正視。改變這一情況，需要恆切禱告，綜合治理，但是首先要對症下藥找原因。由於我的事工需要接觸很多華人牧師，也和不同教會的青少年，特別是土生土長的「ABC」交談，因而更多地了解了他們離開教會的一些主要原因。

Ten years have passed and the situation has not improved. Nowadays, the situation of young people not returning to church is even more serious. The church really needs to take it seriously. Changing this situation requires persistent prayer and comprehensive management, but we must first find the cause by prescribing the right medicine. Since my ministry requires contact with many Chinese pastors and conversations with young people from different churches, especially those born and raised in the “ABC” community, I have learned more about some of the main reasons why they leave the church.

學校的反信仰環境 Anti-belief environment in schools

青少年幼小時在教會雖然學到了一些基要聖經教導，並能隨家人一起過教會的團契生活，但升上初、高中之後，由於生活圈子擴大了，視野漸漸開闊，也開始了邏輯思考，因而對世界和生命產生一些疑問。恰在此時，學校推崇的又是與聖經完全不同的價值觀和人生觀。學校從初中階段便開始教導進化論和無神論，誤導他們對教會和神學加以批判性思考，從而懷疑甚至不相信聖經裡神創造萬物的信仰。更不幸的是，教會沒有為他們作詳盡的關於進化論錯謬的教導，沒有科學護教學的訓練。

Although teenagers learned some basic Bible teachings in the church when they were young and were able to live the church fellowship life with their families, when they entered middle school or high school, their life circles expanded, their horizons gradually broadened, and they began to think logically. This leads to some questions about the world and life. At this time, the school promoted values ​​and outlook on life that were completely different from the Bible. Schools begin to teach evolution and atheism from the junior and high school stage, misleading them to think critically about the church and theology, thereby doubting or even disbelieving in the belief that God created all things in the Bible. What is even more unfortunate is that the church has not provided them with detailed teaching on the errors of evolution and no training in scientific apologetics.

離開了正確的信仰，青少年就很容易受花花世界的吸引。中學時期，不少學生就開始熱衷於網上遊戲和色情，覺得這樣的生活比到教會聽陳言老套的教義刺激得多，於是就不願再返教會了。青少年有很多類，有些乖乖的，即使教會沒有給他們答案，也不會挑戰、反叛，更不會因此離開；但縱使還留在教會的少數，也是因為友誼和關係的因素，信仰上還是不成熟、不堅定的。

Without correct beliefs, young people will easily be attracted by the colourful world. During middle school, many students became interested in online games and pornography. They felt that this kind of life was much more exciting than going to church to listen to old-fashioned doctrines, so they were reluctant to return to church. There are many types of teenagers, and some are obedient. Even if the church does not give them an answer, they will not challenge or rebel, let alone leave because of it. However, even if there are a few who still stay in the church, it is because of friendship and relationship factors, and they still have different beliefs, but their faith are still immature and unsteady.

教會無應用性教導 The church has no practical teaching

教會若只講傳福音、領人歸主，以膚淺的教導要青少年乖乖的，視他們如小朋友，只餵他們「吃奶」，卻沒有幫助他們解決所遇到的問題，沒有教他們怎樣去分析和判斷複雜的人生和社會問題，就會令青少年覺得教會不切實際，解決不了他們所面對的問題；加上社會越來越多攻擊基督教和傳統，引致他們會離開教會。

If the church only talks about preaching the gospel and leading people to the Lord, and uses superficial teachings to make young people behave, treating them like children and only feeding them "milk", it does not help them to solve the problems they encounter or teach them how to analyse and discern the problems in life and society. It will make young people feel that the church is unrealistic and cannot solve the problems they are facing. In addition, society is increasingly attacking Christianity and tradition, causing them to leave the church.

一般教會往往避諱談論政治，這樣怎能提醒下一代應如何判斷？教會應提醒青少年避免選擇一個濫用民主，事事務求迎合世俗要求的領袖。還有同性戀和跨性別的問題，教會應寓教於聖經，教導下一代分辨事理。

在這兩年新冠病毒瘟疫更嚴峻的情況下，很多較理性，或靈性較成熟的青少年開始對教會有反感，甚至有些做了教會領袖的ABC覺得教會很少談論應怎樣看「反疫苗」「反口罩」「反科學」、進化論等問題，如果缺乏溝通，一味迴避，不敢正義發聲，就會使得青少年們不理解上一代的看法，彼此想法不一，令他們失望，就會產生誤會，甚至敵視。

Most churches tend to avoid talking about politics. How can they remind the next generation how to judge? The church should remind young people to avoid choosing a leader who abuses democracy and seeks to cater to worldly requirements. There are also homosexual and transgender issues. The church should educate the next generation through the Bible and teach them discernment about the truth. 

As the COVID-19 pandemic has become more severe in the past two years, many more rational or spiritually mature teenagers have begun to feel disgusted with the church. Even some ABCs who are church leaders feel that the church rarely talks about how to view  "anti-mask", "anti-science", evolution and other issues. If there is a lack of communication, blind avoidance, and dare not speak out for justice. This will cause young people to not understand the views of the previous generation and have different ideas from each other, which will disappoint them and lead to misunderstandings and even hostility.

今天青少年所受的教育偏重情緒化（Emotional Education），這是後現代教育的特色。如果不能教導他們批判性思考，青少年往往會用較情緒化方法處理問題，引致與上一代認知上的反差，在教會裡沒有歸屬感，所以很容易離開教會。

The education that teenagers receive today focuses on emotional education, which is a characteristic of postmodern education. If they cannot be taught to think critically, young people will often use a more emotional approach to deal with problems, resulting in a cognitive gap with the previous generation. They will not have a sense of belonging in the church, so they will easily leave the church.

信徒們虛偽性榜樣 Hypocritical role models for believers

不少人在嬰兒期父母離異，青少年看見父母婚姻失敗，驚訝身為基督徒亦如此。有些父母即使沒離婚，也有婚外情，或關係惡劣，經常口角、冷戰，沒有好榜樣，青少年深感父母的信仰虛偽。

Many parents divorced when the teenagers were infancy. When teenagers see the fail in their their parents' marriages, they are surprised that even Christians are getting divorce. Even if some parents are not divorced, they still have extramarital affairs or have bad relationships, have quarrels and cold wars. The parents do not set as a good example to the teenagers. Therefore, young people feel deeply that their parents' beliefs are hypocritical.

不少青少年都覺得教會的長輩和領袖們虛偽。這種看法一直存在，不過這幾年情況更為嚴重，特別是他們得知一些教會領袖的醜聞，如著名的牧師越軌、神父戀童等，或是男牧者總是以牧養為藉口與女性單獨出去，就感到很嘔心！這些牧者們起初還否認，到了被拘控才無法逃脫。有些人甚至失蹤；有些人毫無悔意，引致教會分裂，被屬世媒體乘機大肆炒作，引致聯會加以處理。這些不僅使得普通信徒引以為恥，青少年也是不屑其所為！這些事件殺傷力甚大，破壞了教會曾在他們心中播下的道種，令他們覺得那些教會領袖只會教導人，卻心口不一！

Many teenagers feel that church elders and leaders are hypocritical. This view has always existed, but the situation has become more serious in recent years, especially when they learn about the scandals of some church leaders, such as famous pastors who have deviated from the law, priests who are paedophiles, or a male pastor always go out with ladies alone by using a excuse as pastoral care, etc, they feel sick and disgusted about it! These pastors initially denied it and could not escape until they were arrested. Some people even disappeared; some showed no remorse, causing divisions in the church, and were taken advantage of by the worldly media to hype them up, causing the United Nations to deal with them. Not only are ordinary believers ashamed of this, but teenagers are also feel shameful of what they do! These incidents were very destructive, destroying the seeds that the church had sown in their hearts, making them feel that those church leaders only taught people but did not demonstrate a good testimony in their lives!

比如說，牧師在講臺教導信徒要「行公義，好憐憫」，但一些華人教會卻有種族歧視的情況，或對異族側目，或不敢相交，表現不公義。很多教會不講種族的問題，例如：大家都是神的子民，不應有種族歧視；若有這些情況應怎樣處理等。教會往往避而不談，沒有提及應如何面對這問題。

其實ABC青少年們不會以奇異眼光看異族，只會覺得教會言行不一，很虛偽！

For example, pastors teach believers from the pulpit to "do justice and love mercy." However, some Chinese churches have racial discrimination, or look sideways at foreigners, or dare not interact with each other, showing injustice. Many churches do not talk about racial issues. For example: everyone is God’s people and there should be no racial discrimination; how to deal with these situations if they occur, etc. The church often avoids talking about it and does not mention how to deal with this problem. 

In fact, ABC teenagers will not look at foreign races with strange eyes. They will only think that the church's words and deeds are inconsistent and very hypocritical!

青少年還會注意到有些信徒好享樂，舉行不少吃喝玩樂的活動等。富娛樂性的，人們踴躍參加；嚴肅的聚會、講座則參加者少。試想，青少年看見怎能不覺得教會虛偽？

Teenagers will also notice that some believers love to have fun and hold many activities such as eating, drinking and having fun. If it is entertaining, people will participate enthusiastically; if it is a serious bible conference or lecture, there will be fewer participants. Just imagine, how can young people not feel that the church is hypocritical when they see it?

女信徒沒得到尊重 Female believers are not respected

教會對於某些情況沉默，往往令年輕女信徒困惑不解，感到失望！例如：青年團契往往只教導女孩子要潔身自愛，衣飾端莊，慎保貞操，做個乖女孩，不要隨便與人外出、飲酒等；卻很少對男孩子有甚麼教導，提醒他們應有些甚麼責任。其實，導師或教會領袖應教導男孩要尊重女性，謹言慎行，男性必須自律，以約瑟為榜樣。不能將責任全推到女方身上，令她們聽後氣憤，甚不甘心！

The church's silence on certain situations often leaves young female believers confused and disappointed! For example, youth fellowships often only teach girls to be clean and self-respecting, dress modestly, be careful about their chastity, be good girls, and not go out with others casually, not to drink alcohol, etc. But there is very little instruction or teaching to the boys about their responsibilities. In fact, mentors or church leaders should teach boys to respect women and be cautious in their words and deeds. Men must be self-disciplined and follow the example of Joseph. You can't put all the blame on the woman, which will make them angry and unwilling!

女孩子12至13歲時聽到以上教導，由於年紀尚小，沒有甚麼感覺；但漸漸長大就會覺得這些教導偏頗，為何責任都在女方？侵犯女生的可能是男生，他們主動騷擾女方。無論她們怎樣打扮，男方都沒有權利侵犯她們！教會怎可完全站在男性角度看事情？對她們太不公道！

When girls hear the above teachings when they are 12 to 13 years old, they don’t feel anything because they are still young. But as they grow older, they will feel that these teachings are biased. Why is the responsibility all on the girls? The attackers may be the boys who take the initiative to harass the girls. No matter how the girls dress up, the boys have no right to violate them! How can the church see things entirely from a male perspective? It's so unfair to them!

此外，墮胎問題要由女性全負責任，受指責的往往是女方；是男生使女生未婚懷孕，她們卻得不到應有的支持和輔導，覺得教會毫無同情心，不究原委，只從男性角度和表面看事情，實在太律法主義！

In addition, girls are solely responsible for the issue of abortion, and it is often the woman who is blamed; it is boys who make girls pregnant before marriage, but they do not receive the support and counselling they deserve. They feel that the church is unsympathetic and does not investigate the original reasons, but only accepts the consequences. Looking at things from a male perspective and superficially is too legalistic!

再者，亞裔被欺凌，受害者多是女性，都是些婆婆、媽媽、姨姨、嬸嬸（當然也有些男性）。在這情況下，竟看不見男性基督徒有甚麼行動為女性抱不平。其實，男性應該保護女性，尤其在危急情況更應有擔當。奈何普遍華人教會不少男信徒都較被動，有些更內向寡言，使女信徒大惑不解！大部分教會女性多於男性。試想，如果下一代女性都離開教會，教會還剩下多少人？

Furthermore, when Asians are bullied, most of the victims are women, mothers-in-law, mothers, aunts, grandma (of course there are also some men). Under such circumstances, I don’t see any action taken by male Christians to defend women. In fact, men should protect women, especially in critical situations. However, in general, many male believers in Chinese churches are passive, and some are more introverted, which greatly confuses female believers! Most churches have more women than men. Just imagine, if the next generation of women all leave the church, how many people will be left in the church?

年輕信徒尋找甚麼？What are young believers looking for?

以上種種問題，教會領袖們當要反省，並加以改善。我們的青少年要尋找的是甚麼？我認為有以下三方面：Church leaders should reflect on the above problems and improve them. What are our teens looking for? I think there are three aspects:

一是要尋找一個真正行道（Authenticity）的教會，而不是只講道而不理會社會實際問題（Social Issues）的教會。

The first is to find a church that truly practices the word (Authenticity), rather than a church that only preaches and ignores social issues.

他們希望教會能對現今社會問題和事件有明確的反應。就低層次而言，能作出一些回應，講及這些議題。就高層次而言，要有較積極的反應，在社會做一些實際行動。

They want the church to have a clear response to current social issues and events. At a low level, some responses can be made and these issues can be addressed. At a high level, we need to have a more positive response and take some practical actions in society.

在這方面，我們教會有見及此，設立了幾個特別事工，例如：輔導事工，為教會內外人士提供心理或精神方面的輔導。

輕症由我們教會的專業會友加以輔導，重症則由教會資助轉介見外面的心理或精神專科醫生。歡迎有這方面問題的人來參加教會並接受輔導，陪他們走過艱難的路，使他們不會因金錢短缺而卻步不就醫。

In this regard, in view of this, our church has established several special ministries, such as: counselling ministry, which provides psychological or spiritual counselling to people inside and outside the church. 

Mild cases will be counselled by professional members of our church, while severe cases will be referred to outside psychological or psychiatric specialists with funding from the church. People with such problems are welcome to attend the church and receive counselling to accompany them through the difficult road so that they will not be deterred from seeking medical treatment due to lack of money.

我們教會又幫助一些低收入家庭面對危難境況，並支持外面一些事工，例如：幫助妓女脫苦海，恢復正常生活，又鼓勵婦女切勿墮胎。再者，由於加州乾燥，常有森林大火，教會響應「撒瑪利亞人會」派人參與救援服務。新奧爾良市遇風災，又派人協助救援。

Our church also helps some low-income families face critical situations and supports some outside ministries, such as helping prostitutes escape from suffering and return to normal lives, and encouraging women not to have abortions. Furthermore, because California is dry and there are frequent forest fires, the church responded to the Samaritans and sent people to participate in rescue services. When the city of New Orleans was hit by a storm, people were sent to assist with rescue operations.

最近加州有不少華人被搶劫、侮辱，甚至殺害，我們教會組織了一個「好撒瑪利亞人小組」，不少青少年（很多是ABC）參加，組成巡邏隊去華人常出入的店舖、街道巡邏，陪伴長者買菜，實踐「行公義，好憐憫」的聖經教導；而不是只把經文掛於嘴邊，或只為他們代禱就算了。教會實在不能只站於高地指指點點，而是要有實際行動，以主耶穌作榜樣。

Recently, many Chinese people in California have been robbed, insulted, and even killed. Our church organized a "Good Samaritan Group" in which many teenagers (many ABCs) participated to form patrol teams and go to shops and streets where Chinese people often visit. Patrol team, accompany the elderly to buy groceries, and practice the biblical teaching of "doing justice and loving mercy"; instead of just talking about the scriptures or just praying for them. The church really cannot just stand on the high ground and point fingers, but must take practical actions and follow the example of the Lord Jesus.

二是要尋找一個能改變他們生命（Life Changing）的教會，例如可以提供輔導（Counseling）。The second is to find a church that can change their lives (Life Changing), for example, it can provide counselling. 

我們要了解他們，尤其ABC；因他們生活在夾縫中，不知道自己屬於中國人抑或美國人。他們往往以為自己是美國人，但在白人或黑人圈子裡不被尊重為美國人，而我們又不當他們是中國人，令他們懷疑自己的身份，感到迷惘！可是，他們又別無選擇！

他們處於一個外族人的世界，面對不少掙扎，會產生不少問題，又會遇到不少難處。那麼，教會能否幫助他們？能否改變他們的生命？我們不能只在口裡說「倚靠主吧！」或「我為你禱告」。我們應盡量設身處地了解他們，使他們信任教會領袖和導師，願意將心中的困擾和掙扎傾訴出來；所以教會應設有輔導事工，為青少年提供恰當的輔導。

We need to understand the teenagers, especially ABC; because they live in the cracks and do not know whether they are Chinese or American. They often think that they are Americans, but they are not respected as Americans in white or black circles, and we do not treat them as Chinese, which makes them doubt their identity and feel confused! However, they have no choice!

They are in a world of foreigners. They face many struggles, many problems will arise, and they will encounter many difficulties.

So, can the church help them? Can the "church" change their lives? We cannot just say "Trust in the Lord!" or "I pray for you." We should try our best to understand them from their shoes so that they can trust church leaders and pastors and be willing to talk about their troubles and struggles. Therefore, the church should have a counselling ministry to provide appropriate counselling for young people.

三是社會不斷進步，科技一日千里，教會需趕上學術上所面對的不少挑戰（Intellectually Challenging），在科學和科技方面稱職（Science and technology competent）。

Third, society is constantly progressing and technology is advancing rapidly. The church needs to catch up with many academic challenges (Intellectually Challenging) and become science and technology competent.

教會要能掌握高端知識，才能帶領青少年深入思考，以面對社會眾多實際問題，能與社會、科學、科技同步、同水準向前邁進，才能令青少年信服。為此，教會領袖不能再故步自封，沿用老一套方式和想法帶領他們，否則被他們瞧不起！

The church must be able to master high-end knowledge so that it can lead young people to think deeply and face many practical problems in society. Only by being able to keep pace with society, science, and technology and move forward at the same level, we can convince young people.

For this reason, church leaders and pastors can no longer stand still and lead them in the same old ways and ideas, otherwise they will look down upon them!

對神學教育的期盼Expectations for theological education

現在一般神學院未能追上時代步伐！教授的課程仍是幾十年前的科目。當然，大部分與基要信仰有關的科目一定要保留，但是若只停留於此，實在行不通！一定要增加一些教導神學生面對現實問題的課程。須知道現在青少年最大的問題，是心理壓力和精神問題；牧者、導師實在需要有這方面的裝備，而且內容要深入，所以神學院一定要增加教牧輔導方面的課程。

Nowadays, the average seminary has failed to keep up with the times! The subjects taught are still the same as those from decades ago. Of course, most of the subjects related to fundamental beliefs must be retained, but if you just stop there, it really won’t work! 

Be sure to add courses that teach theology students to face real-world problems. It must be known that the biggest problem for teenagers today is psychological pressure and spiritual problems; pastors and mentors really need to be equipped in this area, and the content must be in-depth, so seminaries must add courses in pastoral counselling.

再者，一般神學院沒有關於社會、政治方面的課程，只設有「倫理學」。其實「倫理學」一詞在今天已落後。現在有不少問題遠遠超出「倫理學」的範疇，應設立科目教授同性戀、跨性、偷渡、吸毒、沉溺、精神病、家庭破碎、槍枝和政治等議題。神學院都設有護教學，但只集中於傳統的神學知識，以致很少牧師可以充分地向人解釋進化論有何不對之處，以科學方法證明神的存在。為此神學院現應加設科學護教的課程，幫助牧師們在科學上趕上時代。這些裝備在青年事工上特別需要，在向高知識分子傳福音時也能派上用場。

Furthermore, general seminaries do not have courses on social and political aspects, only "ethics". In fact, the term "ethics" has fallen behind today. There are many issues that go far beyond the scope of "ethics". Subjects should be set up to teach topics such as homosexuality, transgenderism, smuggling, drug abuse, addiction, mental illness, family breakdown, guns and politics. Theological schools all have apologetics, but they only focus on traditional theological knowledge, so that few pastors can fully explain to people what is wrong with the theory of evolution and prove the existence of God with scientific methods. 

For this reason, seminaries should now add courses on scientific apologetics to help pastors catch up with the times in science. These equipment are especially needed in youth ministry and can also come in handy when evangelizing to high-level intellectuals.

本文鏈結：http://ccmusa.org/read/read.aspx?id=pro20220402

「原載《傳》雙月刊第203期（中國信徒佈道會）」。